just stop it! stop, stop, stop.

Anyone who knows me knows one sure thing - I think way too much. I over-analyze everything from my parenting to my housekeeping abilities to my feelings to my childhood to my internal thoughts to my energy levels to my interactions with everyone I've ever met. It gets exhausting. I know it's good to be self-aware and to think about how one's actions affect those around them, but this is getting ridiculous. I over-think everything to the point that I literally CANNOT be happy with anything. In turn, I end up feeling like a spoiled, entitled shrew for not being able to accept my life for what it is and truly savor it. Nit-pick, nit-pick, nit-pick. I will now just shut up already and thank my lucky stars that I have a roof over my head, a car to get me from place to place, food to eat, plus a son and fiance who are amazing and love me.

I'm notorious for over-analyzing my parents, what with their poodle perm and fu-manchu, respectively. Also, I spent a lot of my childhood obsessing about my knobby-ass knees.

I've changed some things about my life. My last depressive episode brought bucket-loads of clarity with it. I've been taking the liquid fish oil supplement for almost a week now, I'm drinking water again, keeping my hands busy with cooking, housework, sewing... keeping my mind busy with books and activities instead of self-deconstruction, taking my daily vitamin to make sure I'm getting enough iron and vitamin D, shifting my attitude as much as I can to stay positive and thankful. It takes focus and effort, but so far... it's working.