Kind of like how ghee is clarified butter... but in regards to life. Or something.

Clarification is good.

I've been doing a lot of thinking and pondering and brainstorming lately, thanks in no small part to:

• driving 1100 miles this last weekend, just Silas and I.
  
• visiting old friends that we hadn't seen in over 4 years.
• spending 3 nights away from Seth, the longest we've been apart in our entire relationship.
• seeing the landscape change from here to the Idaho border and then back again.
• an intense therapy session the morning after I got back home.

I'm starting to form a very clear picture in my mind of what I want my life to be. What I want my own story to look like. What I want for my son and my family as a whole. And I've discovered that there is one main thing I don't want to see in the picture of my life... being at a job I hate in the evenings instead of being with the family I love. I've turned in multiple pieces of paperwork at my job, stating that I need my hours cut back, I need to be with my family, I can only work so many days, etc. Yet schedules keep coming out where these things I've stated are completely ignored. I'm scheduled more days than I can handle, during hours I'm not available, yet not scheduled much on weekends... the one time when I can do literally any shift they ask of me. Today my to-do list involves updating my resume and writing my two-weeks-notice. It's a huge weight off my shoulders.

I will be looking for another job, but I will probably restrict my availability to weekends only. That combined with living in a small town, having a small set of marketable skills, and the current economy... I'm betting I won't find anything anytime soon. And frankly, that sounds magnificent to me. I can focus on my Etsy shop more, cook real meals for my family, be home when they need me, and actually live the picture I see...